Disappointment and Trust

I had dinner with my mentor on Monday, and one of the things we talked about is how difficult it is to recover from disappointments that make us feel betrayed by God. The scenarios are different for different people, but I think that most people experience some kind of crisis that makes them question God - why He didn't intervene to save a loved one, rescue a relationship, open doors for a job or a mission trip. These things can shake the foundations of our faith: Doesn't God know what's going on? Doesn't he care?

I think an important realization to come out of these crises is that it's not personal. Each of us is a thread in the tapestry God weaves in the world, and I think part of spiritual maturation is realizing there is more to God's plan than loving me and me loving him. He is at work in the world, building a kingdom. We get to be a part of that, and loving him is a huge part of that, and his love for us is the basis for everything else; but his love is also much bigger than us and frequently supersedes what we can understand. Sometimes no matter how long or how hard we cry out for answers, we simply don't get one. We have to trust that he knows and he cares; we must learn to live beyond the self-centered emotion of betrayal and trust God again - to be able to seek his guidance without guarantees other than his goodness and love.